Brit Oddities Update

I know I still need to post about London, and I will, probably tomorrow. For now I've turned my brain off, but I still want to post, so here is a list of more weird Brit things. There are always so many new things to learn and observe.

Lights here turn yellow, then red, then BACK to yellow, then green.

"Trolley" is the word for a cart. When you go to the grocery store you push a shopping trolley. Adorable.

Boys really do insist on walking you home. They ask your permission. But, apparently it is not really asking, it is understood that you will accept. Because if you don't let them (because it is out of his way and its late and he's tired and you're not that far anyway and you would feel guilty troubling him, it's cold and in the opposite direction, maybe on Thursday when he's not so tired but it's a very sweet offer thank you) they feel badly.

Take any food. Mix it with peas and potato. Cover it with a pastry. Bake it. It is now British.

As I explain to others: Take any food. Deep fry it. Cover it in either ketchup or chocolate. It is now American.

Stereotypes of Americans: Southerners are racist. Other Americans are pretty warm and friendly. All Americans drink coffee all the time.

Brits are totally self aware that they come off as stuck up. They freely admit to being closed off and all "stiff upper lip"-ish.

Here are some things I've been discussing at length lately.
When you deep fry a potato...
American is to "chips" as Brit is to "crisps"*
American is to "french fries"** as Brit is to "chips"***
When you have baked goods...
American is to "cookies" as Brit is to "biscuits"****
American is to "biscuit" as Brit is to "huh what's that?"
American is to "wtf sounds gross" as Brit is to "digestive"*****
When you have something mushy...
American is to "pudding" as Brit is to something called "angel delight"
American is to "?" as Brit is to "pudding"******
American is to "Jell-o" as Brit is to "jelly"*******
American is to "jelly" "jam" "preserves" as Brit is to "jam"

If I understand correctly, all swans belong to the queen.

Don't try to figure out how British school levels work. More confusing than the food. Same goes for trying to compare Brit and American ballroom levels.

There are few moments more jarring than when people start talking about "crushing fags"

These people don't understand peanut butter. It either has a really funky sorta gritty bitter aftertaste, or it tastes right but is runny. Not runny like organic peanut butter where the oil separates out. Its like the peanut butter topping you get on ice cream sundaes at Friendly's. Spread it and it runs down the side of your sandwich.

At all times one can, and should, say "cheers."

All typed conversations end in "xx." All of them. Girls, boys, if they are friends with you even a little, your conversation will end in little kisses. Please respond similarly or they might wait around for your kisses, as I think it is not only a term of endearment, but also a signal that the conversation has ended. Also it is adorable and hilarious. Especially because it is not always "xx" but frequently "xxx." Real conversations only sometimes end in little kisses.

Seemingly innocuous phrase one should never use: sassypants. Let's say you have a friend, and you two are texting. And let's say he is trying to be cute and provoke you. You might be tempted to respond by calling him a sassypants. If you do this, you might not realize that sassy=girly and pants=underwear, so in fact you just said that he was ladies panties. Not getting the reaction you expected, huh? Yeah, about that, you might need to find yourself another boy...

No one thinks it is at all weird I have pink hair. But everyone comments on the black nails.

That's all I can think of at the moment. More to come. Oh, this country. And do pop over to facebook to see my latest pictures, an album of things around campus and another of my trip to London. Cheers.


Shout out to my family! I got a care package with Velveeta mac and cheese and Skippy peanut butter. Amazing. Getting mail is the best.

*Brits are way more creative with the flavorings of chips/crisps. We are nowhere near the league they are in. And don't even get me started on jacket potatoes.

**There is no ketchup. Things get dipped in mayo or mustard. And the mustard here is the love child of a mustard seed and wasabi. It will clear your sinuses. And I love it.

***BUT if they are especially thin (think McDonalds) or are the curly shoestring kind, then Brits sometimes do call them fries!

****BUT when referring specifically to a certain kind of "biscuit" that is softer and has either chocolate chips or sometimes oatmeal in them, Brits sometimes call them cookies. (Does this mean there are only chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies here? Oh, Brits, there is so much out there that you just don't know yet, you're missing out!)

*****I still don't know. They are a certain kind of biscuit. I won't buy them to find out the difference, and Brits don't seem to know the difference either. Just that some are one and some are the other and that's the way it is.

******Too many things can be called a British pudding, they weren't even described to me. I was just warned that a great many things might be put in front of me if I ask for a pudding.

*******Brits have something called jello but it is not Jell-o, I got too confused by this point in the conversation so I don't know what jello is.