If it makes you mad, you are livid. You can just say livid, instead of explaining that something makes you mad.
Grant at the UK Border Agency: "Hey Jo, your residence permit is lost forever."
Jo: "Livid."
I know I said trash is rubbish, and a trashcan is a rubbish bin, or just a bin, but did I say that rubbish can be used to complain about anything? If something sucks then its rubbish.
Friend of Jo's: "Hey Jo, when are you going back to visit America, I thought you were taking a summer trip to see your family?"
Jo: "I'm not, my residence permit was lost forever so I'm not allowed to travel internationally still, as I've not for the past 5 months."
Friend of Jo's: "Aww sorry to hear that, that's rubbish."
N'aw mate. The n'aw sounds proper southern, I know, but this is in fact a British expression. And I have picked it up. And I say it, a lot. And I sound like a tool doing it. It means nope.
Jerk at the courier company: "It says here we delivered your residence permit to your address at International House last Tuesday at 4:45pm. Someone named Sailes signed for it."
Jo: "N'aw mate. You couldn't have done that, as International House has no one currently living in it, as it is literally a fenced off uninhabited construction site, and no one named Sailes works in any campus post room, nor is that name listed as working or studying anywhere at the university. Also my last name isn't anything like Sailes, so why in hell did you let that person sign for it?"
Jerk: "Well we did our part, you go find it."
Jo: "You suck at your job and I hate you."
A strop is like a tantrum, but less violent and mopey-er. If you're being fussy about something and getting all sad and huffy about it you might be said to be having a strop.
Friends of Jo's: "Hey dear, how are you?"
Jo: "Shut up and mind your own damn business, that's how I am! I hate you and your whole damn country! I just want my residence permit so I can go see my family and my cat and so I can prove that I'm legally allowed to work in this country should anyone ever offer me a job. Jeez!!"
Friends of Jo: "Umm, let's leave Jo alone, she's being stroppy."
This next thing I call "non-questions." They are like a little rhetorical statement you make at the end of your sentence. They aren't rhetorical in the strictest sense in that you don't really want your audience to silently reflect on them, but rather they serve to drive home your point. Its a question but you aren't really asking it, it reinforces your thought. They seem like they would sound kinda mean, but you say them so fast and kind of drop your voice as they come out giving them very little emphasis, so actually they basically just get missed and don't sound as impertinent as you'd think. Also they are inflected as a statement, not as a question. I say these a lot too, but I still find them really weird.
Friend of Jo's: "Why not try to find this Sailes person to get your permit from him?"
Jo: "Well I tried everything I could think of, didn't I. I searched the directory for students and staff with that name, and checked all the post rooms, and got the head of Estates to contact all 3 contracting companies that are working on that area of campus to see if they had anyone by that name, and called around to every office on campus that was located near there or that sounded remotely like International House. No luck. It is well and truly gone."
Brap is a sound one makes when one is pleased with himself or something exciting that has happened. It requires that you flip the r a bit. It is used kind of like booyah, though without the sometimes ironic in yo' face quality of gloating that can have.
Jo: "Hey England, why won't you let me leave you? I just wanna go for a little bit. I'll come back."
England: "Because I want to torture you! Bwahahaha!"
Jo: "Oh no! It was you! You made the Border Agency and the courier company and this Sailes person all work against me, effectively making me Tom Hanks in The Terminal! You are an evil genius!!"
England: "Brap!"
You may have guessed this, but I'm having some bureaucracy trouble. And I'm a bit ticket off about it. Shout out to party rings, little happy colored iced cookies for children that are weirdly yummy considering how dry they are. They make me happy when I'm stressed.
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