Thoughts of 23-25 Year Olds.
-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it didn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in int, and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards. We juts figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
-Sometimes I will watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring in my groceries.
-The only time I look forward to a red light if when I'm trying to finish a text.
-A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributed to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
-LOL has gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."
-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
-Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
-Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart" all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."
-How many times it is appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers.
-Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using "as in" examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot.
-MapQuest needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
-Obituaries would be more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and then turn on the water.
-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas who just got the Red Ryder BB gun. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do.
-If Carmen SanDiego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would be completely invisible.
-Why is it that when I am playing an ice breaker going around saying our names and where we are from do I get so incredibly nervous? Like, I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to restart my collection.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you're going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save my changed to my 20 page research paper that I swear I didn't make any changes to.
-"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching tv. There's so much pressure. "I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?
-I hate leaving the house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new person I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but I have learned from some light internet stalking.
-I like all of my music on iTunes, except when its on shuffle. Then I like one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20mph? Seems like optimal pedophile cruising speed.
-As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what, I always hate cyclists.
-Sometimes I look down at my watch three times and I still don't know what time it is.
-I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
So I didn't come up with these, but I believe in just about all of them. If you have one I'd love to hear it. And not just for 23-25 years olds, but any life observations.
Here are some of my suggestions:
-Open book tests? Really?
-Sandwiches should always be cut into triangles.
-Stop Facebook stalking. Stop stop stop stop.
-You are really good at eating. Until someone looks at you while you are trying to eat.
-My most productive bouts of work begin when my allotment of free megavideo time for the day runs out. Do I pay for a subscription to keep watching, or prepare my presentation? Guilt makes me do the right thing.
-While we're on the topic: Catholic guilt is alive and well.
-Learned this one at Mercy: whatever you are eating, however unhealthy, if you eat it while drinking a diet coke it makes it not count.
-First dates should be imperfect.
-If someone is going to get food poisoning or injured in a ridiculous way, it's me, so keep me around when you want to avoid pain. If someone is going to get bitten by a mosquito, it's Beth, so keep her around when you want to avoid itchiness. Choose your Higbee.
-Though maybe not outwardly socially condoned, I don't think I know many grown ups who don't still have a teddy bear/stuffed animal in their room. So let's all admit it and move on.
-Few things are more unnecessarily stressful than making the guest list for a party.
-We in our 20's are not old. But we sure feel old when we meet someone born in the 90's.
-Bacon is the answer.
-Someone might just be an acquaintance. But when you see them randomly at an event in which you are out of place (party where you don't know anyone, overseas, anywhere you have never been before, anytime you are in the same room as your ex) they are your long lost best friend ever and everything they say is fascinating.
And my crowning achievement:
-Ladies. In your purse, always keep a needle and thread, a lighter, a knife, tissues, a marker, and a spoon. They will all come in handy and you will thank me.
Shout out to those of you who still check into this blog from time to time, in the hopes I will add something new. Thanks.
These are fanstsic! I agree with every one.
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